A Deep Rant.

It's getting late in the AM, but I am not tired yet. I wasn't able to get to sleep until 4 am. Something has me stirred, and I'm not quite sure what its intentions are.

Suddenly, a bad memory, like a random nightmare, keeps me awake. A message lingers that I hope is not as malignant as its origin.

I found some letters tonite, conversations if you will. I had saved them because I knew one day I would have to read over them. I read them without anger, but with sincere disappointment and hurt. Everything fell into place. I wish I had seen it sooner. I would have left sooner...No. Those who know me know I would not betray them. Those who know me know I am in it until the end. Those who know me know that my silence is not something to be taken lightly.

I avoided contact as much as I could. It hurts to read such things, and to know the author will never think twice about the things that were said. I hate thinking about it, so I don't. I only wish I could turn my heart off as easily as you turned off yours.

I hope that you understand, saying something spiteful out of a temper is understandable and forgiveable. Saying something spiteful out of sheer vindictiveness is nothing short of an atrocity.

Sorry if this is more of a negative post. My heart wanted me to know something tonite, and I want its assailant to feel the intensity of its displeasure.