Barely a Ripple

I woke up one day and the world began to spin and sing with so many colours. There were stripes and dots and pastels, streamers and noises and sights. There was energy and whirlwinds that were so uplifting. There were familiar songs, and familiar smells. There was joy and comfort and all things unseen.

And they thought I was crazy. They thought I was making it up.

Anyways, it's funny how history repeats itself. At least I can sit back and watch it in this round. I feel relieved to know that I was right. And now Ryan knows.

On a completely unrelated note, I had a dream about Becki a few weeks ago. What a bizarre dream. We were in a room, much like an attic, except finished off with hardwood floors, a big window, and a bunch of old beds. It kinda reminded me of an old orphanage or finishing school, even if I have never seen one.
Well, I looked over my shoulder and saw her standing there. In absolute awe, I asked Becki if she was really dead. She replied with, "Yes, and so are you..." I became afraid once I heard her say that. Immediately, she finished off with, "Well, technically, you're half dead [or halfway dead]," in a matter-of-fact sort of tone, then made a gesture like she used to do when explaining something to me.
She seemed somewhat jolly, even though it felt like I disturbed her in a way.
She walked off into another room, and I walked out of the room we were in, and found myself in a dimly lit hallway. I was still in shock at seeing her and at what she said, so I forced myself to wake up (in a panic).

I don't know what to make of that dream, or if I should even think about it.

On another unrelated topic...get ready for it, it's a moped update...The Red Rocket has finally come back to life. All I have to do is get the damn wiring straightened out, and I'll be ready to take 'er on its maiden voyage.
Officially, I have 3 running mopeds. The Snark has finally shown its displeasure with me but giving me hard starts. I think I have an idea as to what is going on, so that should be cake. Number 2 is still rawking and rolling, although I would like to do a complete engine tear down and give it a good cleaning. I have finally mastered the gearbox, now all I have to do is tackle the crankcase. That should be easy, but I was warned about the random shims that might come flying out to eat my face. Hopefully, it won't be bad...*crosses fingers*

That's it, that's all I got for tonite. Go away, stop reading this, you are only wasting your time.

The world stops buzzing for just a split second...

Today is the day, and I am complacent.

I spent most of my day in bed yesterday. I could not move, I felt like death. I tried to get out of bed and sat outside for all of 30 minutes, and I thought I was going to die...or go lose my mind, or something. I finally got out of bed at 6 or 6:30, I can't remember. Yes, that's PM. No, I wasn't asleep the entire time.

No one would ever know that I work 2 jobs when I tell them about that.

Today was pretty quiet. I started a snake sleeve thing. I can't wait to get to the meat of it. The Samurai sleeve is whipping along, I look forward to having healed pics of last week's sitting. I did a drawing tonight for some koi sonnovajawns, I can't wait to start that, even if the dude has some crap on his arm already.
I really have no plans for tomorrow. The Snark needs some lovin's, I'm waiting for Sebring parts, and there's a pile of wood outside that needs to be attatched in a cube format.

I should call TI and Visions tomorrow. I haven't talked to those guys in forever. Mojo did call me tonite, which was way cool. It was good hearing from him, but at the same time, makes me reconsider what I'm doing.

I like being in a studio that doesn't treat me like a one trick pony. I like not being yelled at for using 'too many supplies.' I like being in a place where I'm two minutes from most of my friends.

I don't like that my bad experiences have some how left me feeling out of tune with my inner being. I was a better artist when I couldn't tattoo, and for some reason, I feel less of an artist knowing how to tattoo.

I'm not miserable doing what I do, I just aspire to do many other things, regardless of their worth. Talking to Mojo didn't help much, and knowing the guys at BTM have felt the same way at some point doesn't make feel any different.

I took time off because I was really pissed off at being so blind. I silenced my sixth sense thinking that was how one is able to trust. Heh. Boy was I wrong...twice.

Well, three times, but the third had nothing to do with the tattooing thing.

I'm making a lot of paragraphs.
I like paragraphs.

Anyways. I do think that Larry and Kim are right. I've even thought about going back to school for, whatever. Ryan seems to be happy doing it. The most artistically intense I've felt was when I was in school, be it HCC and MICA. I'd like to go back, maybe. It's a thought I haven't really thought about.

This was kind of a downer post, even though I don't feel down. I feel pretty good, actually. A little tired, but you know. We insomniacs are always tired.
Well, goodnight, world, and all those beyond it!

With every Intention...

You've willingly done what cannot be undone, what cannot be changed.
You'll curse the world for whom the world has cursed,
not knowing what matters when the matters are in the knowing.

I can't stop that.

I've tried before. I've tried now. I've been the hurt and I've felt the hurt. I've been the peace and I've felt the peace. That which shadows cannot conceal, the light will make blind.

I can't fix that.

Exclusion will only delay the effect. A river stands between you and the gate. Forgiveness is action, only with Time.