Wandering

It was just a note, just a word, just a moment.
The Universe is not cruel, yet not caring of our wants.

It exists to promote life, to flourish, then to whither back into into the Great Mystery.
The debt of life is paid, and so creation can go on

The Universe is not cruel, yet not conceding to our every wish.
I still remind myself that this,
This is just a note, just a word, just a moment,
and nothing that can't, one day, be undone.

Strange Currents

Fighting sleep.
Don't know why.

I keep thinking about the image of strange currents; Swirling about in my head.
A constant reflux of reminders, yet, a vision.

Five years, an azure mountain, the dead leaves, and the fires that rage on,
year after year.
There are moments when my heart opens,
Offering my vulnerability.
There is none there to receive,
and so the gates slowly counter swing
and interlock.
I am assured that there will never be resolution, yet I hope.
I still hope for no purpose.
A strange current,
it marks the path where emotion forces passage.
It swirls in a violent eddy, exposing it's silver waters
like the gleaming fangs of a wild dog.

Somehow, I am comforted rather than frightened,
I am watchful.
At the other end of the torrent, I know that the moulded earth
slowly withers away under that river's endless current.

Green Sky Musings

Well, it's that time...
Yep. Update time.

Tattooing is fun, I like it.
More traveling has been happening, more to come. Check my website @ www.chikkenscratch.com for the details. I'm too ADD at the moment to repost them.

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Yup. Mopeding riding as usual. Killed the Snark. Well, actually, Ben killed the Snark, but it wasn't his fault. After two years, TWO YEARS, of subjecting the Snark engine to pure PUNISHMENT and TORTURE, it was an absolute fluke that sent 'er screaming to the pearly gates.
Upon inspection of the carnage that was laid to waste, it appears a small chunk of the nearly indestructible Polini separated from it's permanent home inside the cylinder. It made contact with the piston, and the two became enemies instantaneously. I'm not sure how the cylinder did not suffer more backlash of the two nemeses unyielding circumstance, but it appears the piston was not victorious over the concourse of combustion physics.

The victor had claimed its spoils, and the cosmic euphoria that shrouds the mystic pleasures of 'moped ride' had ceased to reign. Its operator(s) were left disheveled, confused, accusatory of the firm moped gods, lamenting the joy that is now bereft of their mechanical companion.

Such is moped, and this is the reason the keepers of all moped breeds keep many a moped in their herd. It is the death of one, but many remain to keep the joy and hope alive in hearts and minds of two-stroke tuners near and abroad.

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Football season is almost upon us. I can't wait. I was jumping up and down when I saw the showcase game of the Giants vs the Pamfers (Panthers). Happy, Happy, big men with armor smashing into each other, into inanimate objects, into unsuspecting cameramen, smashing into the terra firma, the onslaught of warrior vs warrior, the glorious marriage of strength and tactic, pure brute force and flashing spandex contouring to the every twitch of massive man-thighs. Yea. Pathetic, I realize. It is a beautiful sight, a symbolic ballet of inertia and precision. Hoo-ray!

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I feel like ass right now, which may or may not explain the unusual typing style for this evening. Went to the Cardio doc, and he thinks upping my sodium intake is a good idea. Two pills, two times a day, Sodium Chloride. Your body needs it to function on a daily basis.
I think my body hates it.

Literally, within seconds of taking them, I get severely nauseous...you know the kind...you start salivating (that liquid, non-sticky, almost water kind of saliva) in preparation for your stomach contents to make their slippery way to the back of your esophagus, and into whatever container you have at hand.
Minutes pass slowly, hours stray; The feeling doesn't go away.

They taste like an overwhelming gulp of briney sea-swells, and make gagging a welcome expression of their admittance into the body.

I'm not sure how long I have to take them. If it doesn't fix me, the next course requires a series of prodding medical tests, and the waiting game.
Worst case scenario may require the installation of a pacemaker.

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I think that's plenty enough for this evening. Once more shall this nonsense resume when I actually have something semi-important to say.
I bid all the readers out there in internetland and fond Adieu.

The Yellowed-eyed Messenger

Here I am, taking a breather.
Whoa.

A lot of traveling going on. I'm digging it. I'm not sure what my path is, I'm just going with it until the survey is over. I guess I have no other decent alternative.

The persistence is remarkable, really. Floating about, here and there, waiting for the violets to appear. The fire and the light, reaching shadows cast onto ultramarine snowflakes. That was a good dream.
I saw a picture of a lion, etched into a black background. His eyes were wild yellow, but his expression left me feeling intrigued. He was to the right of a heart, staring intently toward the northeast. It was a moment of crepuscular clarity...Not quite dawn, not quite dusk; Not quite sure, not quite afraid. Mecca, sent by Ero? Maybe?
Don't think about it.

The call tempts me, but I cannot find that one spot there, the one where humanity melts away, and I am left in complete awe. I am hoping that it is because Winter's bare shell deceive my senses. I have neglected it for a while. I know it's still there, it never really leaves. It just becomes harder to come back to after all these years. I am confident...somewhat. I'm a little out of step with the rhythm as of right now. I don't know the severity of it, I just know I'm spinning away from the realm of common minds. It might be minor, like, this is what is supposed to happen...or it could be one of those things where you see yourself falling, but the hope of an eternal sky blinds the horizon that quickly approaches.

Earth. That's where I am now. All I can do is wait.

Eh, the lingering threat of indifference. I am learning that although some emotion is omitted, ignorance does not necessarily stem from this seed. I'm not sure what to do with the new-found wisdom...it doesn't seem like wisdom at all...but I suppose that might be part of what I'm supposed to be doing with it. Keep your head down, keep your nose to the grindstone, they would say.

Lastly, I'd like to take this time to mention how thankful I am that the mind forgets. I am calm, but feeling bland. This is a long entry. This is a long entry that probably makes absolutely no sense to anyone.

I'm going to go practice another language now.
Happy Spring.

Sleep is over-rated.

SoooOoOOooooo...
I had a nightmare for the first time in years last night. It was a rather weird thing. I forgot how vivid my dreams get in the right circumstances.
The odd part is that I cannot even begin to explain said nightmare. It was a clusterfuck of absolute absurdity.

I remember that it was about weird shit happening as I was about to fall asleep...yea, I was having a nightmare about having a nightmare...pretty ingenius, right?

One thing that was scary was that things kept trying to take me..I think. I remember a lot of asinine jibbajabba and abstract physics happenin' around me. For some reason, this combination was extra-terrifying. One thing that comes to mind was my body being lifted for no reason and doors becoming transparent as I walked up to them. There was a grasping of my torso, and a coldness that seemed to linger with it. I just kept feeling like I was possessed, which, for the record, I've had happen in the past during a dream...well, it felt like a possession to me. That time had a lot of significance tacked on to it, but this time...well, I just don't know.

I kept screaming in this nightmare. This is weird in itself because I hardly ever express fear in a raging, ear-piercing series of harsh vocalizations. Usually, the shock keeps me running for about 10 seconds, then the grasp of reality leaves me silently contemplating the relevance with stinging, weak legs and a heartbeat that would put a marathon runner to shame.

So um, I can't remember much else, other than it was really intense. I remember thinking at some point in my dream that I needed to wake up...at which time, I believe I opened my eyes and consciously evaluated my surroundings while still in dream mode. I saw my room, and the light that creeps in from the hallway. I saw how it bounced off the floor and walls, and the few boxes next to my bed. I saw those things, and did mentally reach for them, hoping to wake up. I was sooo close, but my dream pulled my back as if I was bound to it by an elastic band.
I tried multiple times to wake up, and although my eyes were opened and I was cognitively thinking, I could not escape from it. This ultimately led to more terror compounding to the already scary bits of my dream world.

Then I woke up. Ahh, the paralysis of dream shock. A moment of complete autonomic failure where you are strapped into whatever position you fell alseep in, complete with an ejaculated by-product of overstimulated microorganisms. My body was stinging, and my heart felt like it was on the verge of implosion. Yet, there I was, unable to do a goddamn thing about it. I looked at the clock, and realized I had only been asleep for an hour, at most.

Yep.
That was my evil dream sequence. I wish I could have gone into details about it, but yea...The end.