"...It follows you up a Hill..."

Ahhh, it's saturday...well,technically, it's sunday now. I'm glad this week is over. It went by fast, and it feels good to have a few days to sleep in. Gawd knows I need it...
Last night, Ryan and I went to see 'Pan's Labyrinth,' or 'Une Labyrinthe de Faun.' I was unaware that it was subtitled, but that didn't make much difference. All in all, it wasn't too bad, although Ryan didn't care for most of it. I didn't like the graphics, but he did. I like the plot, but he felt it was lacking somehow. Go fig.

Let's see, what else...Did some schweet pieces this week. Tonite I finished a tribal 3/4 sleeve, a colourful lowerback piece, did a small tribute piece, and a flaming apple on a hand. That was fun as shit. The whole story behind the apple piece was hilarious to boot. My clients bought me a smoothie from the local juice joint, and we all ended up having a good bit of afterhours fun. Landon's piece is healing up fantastic, I can't wait to finish the rest of it. I'm not sure when Ryan wants to get his started, hopefully soon. I'm very excited about that piece as well. The week's been steady, and all is well.

Since the weather has changed drastically, so has my sleep schedule. I've had days where I've gotten 12 hours of sleep, only to wake up exhausted, delirious, and groggy. Gotta love it. I've been having some silly dreams as well, but I think that's part of the fact that I sleep like a kinked weasel.

After all the progress I made on the Red Rocket, I've got to tear down the electrical again and reinstall a new CDI kit. Apparently the one I bought isn't the correct size, and it's causing the CDI to be underpowered and misinformed on each crank. Blargh. I hope 1977 Mopeds contacts me soon. I have been patiently awaiting my v1L speed kit, my Mamba pipe, and some other random stuff for a month. Siiigh, this moped addiction...I tell ya...
I also need to get a few more things for my room at work. Although it's comfortable, I still thinks it's kinda bare in there. I have been working on a sketch for a big painting, it's just dependant on how big my canvas is going to be. I'm not sure what will be medium of choice. I'm looking forward to finally getting it down.

There's not a whole helluva lt going on, at least, not rigt now. I'm really ballz-tired, but unable to sleep. Tomorrow, I'll be travelling back to MD for a day or so, doing my thing down there. I've got to get my portfolio reprinted and shipped out to P-burg. Meh, gotta put it on my list.
Right.
That was a boring post. Anyways, hope everyone is doing well out there in I-net land. Pleasant dreams!

Sailing Away

It is finally nice to some snow on the ground, but it was even better to have been out and about walking in it.
As Nikki and I were walking back from RE, the thought of mopedding in the snow, and how fun it would be, briefly ran across my mind. It was more fun being in the company of other people though, so that thought quickly vanished. Hello my name is angel, and I have a moped addiction.

I tattooed all day again on saturday. Joe had come up for a visit, and hung out for a bit while I tattooed. I made sure it was ok with my client to have Joe in the room, and thank gawd they both had a lot in common. My client was very cool, he had been an apprentice at another shop before it closed down. He and Joe talked about music stuff, tattoo stuff, and we just had a good time. I did a PusHead inspired piece to fill up some space on his inner arm. Joe and I discussed putting my Geidusa face on him at some point, but not before I add the finishing touch to his rubber duckie. That fukka snuck out before I could get a picture! *Shakes fist at Joe*

It was a long few days, from thursday to saturday. Brian and Ryan got into it at work, which made everyone feel a bit uneasy, but all is well now. I headed down to Chili's on saturday night after work to meet up with Sarah and Nikki. Those guys had been sitting there for a few hours before I arrived, which doesn't sound like too much fun, so I appreciate them waiting for me. We hung out there for a bit, then headed back to the 'Burg and watched 'The Hatteras Tapes' and talked until the wee hours in the morning. It's always fun to sit back and watch those tapes. I have a small collection of recorded silliness from high school as well. I'm curious to recollect what are on those tapes.

The Red Rocket has expressed its displeasure at me for installing a new CDI kit on it. I'm having issues getting it started (again) and I have been scratching my head over it. I think the timing is off because of the CDI. That, or it could be the monstrously huge jet, incorrect coil installment, or incorrect wiring/grounding. I don't know, but it's driving me nuts. My vote goes to a timing issue, because the rest of the bike has spark. Bah, evil moped. I really hope I can have this bike running consistently before the Richmond rally. *Crosses fingers*

There's really not much I wish to talk about at this point in time. Some stuff happened today, and now I feel like my mind is on a big cube of ice. I am definetly looking forward to my upcoming time off.
Until Menyana.
Over and Out.

"...is this something sinister?"

Man, it is rather cold outside. This is what January is supposed to feel like. I'm happy to see Winter has stirred.
I woke up this morning, I thought I was sore from the wrestling match between Ryan and I yesterday. Alas, I had a massage the other day, and I think that's why I feel so beat up. Even my arms, down to my elbows are sore. Kinda crazy. Jules mentioned how wierd it is when the muscle is stimulated to the point where it's not even sure what's causing it to be stimulated. Nuts.
Tonite I stayed late and tattooed Landon. Brian wanted me to try out this one machine he was tuning today, and tell him what I thought of it. I must admit, I was out of my element, but it wasn't too bad. Tattoo turned out pretty nice. We still have a session of background and jonx to do. It should be sweet once all is said and done.

I'm still feeling kinda funky, mostly disillusioned, I think. At least I am not so alone in being alone. It's interesting to look back when I moved to Baltimore, back to my parent's house, then here to Gettysburg. I remember coming home from work and there would be nothing. It was a glorious nothing. I'd pour a bowl of cereal or a glass of chocolate milk, draw, paint, or play tetris until ridiculous hours in the morning. I then spent the night on the couch, woke up, got ready for work, and was content in my solitude. There was so much more to be stimulated by. I had a place to myself, the beginning of a kick-ass job, and my friends would come visit me on the weekends. All was well.
Then things started to get wierd. I started noticing a change in other's attitudes toward me. It was the beginning of a chain reaction that nearly destroyed me. I thought it was in my head, until I heard other accounts. In my attempt to be self-sufficent, I succeeded, and in doing so, was forgotten. I wasn't angry or spiteful, but just figured I was being silly.

Through all of the new changes, I never lost the ability to feel emotion, in fact, quite the opposite happened. Now I can't turn it off. I suppose such is the curse of being an artist, which is why most artists end up being exiled from typical society. If that is my fate, then so be it. It's probably much more thrilling on that side of the mind.
The more and more I think about it, the more and more I want to try something different for a while. I want to be so devoted to something, that I wouldn't have to think twice about the dangers. I really like that.
When I first started tattooing, it was like that. I couldn't wait to get off work, drive through rush hour traffic for 45 minutes, then sit and be completely overwelmed learning how to tattoo, drive home, then wake up and start job 1 all over again. I never thought about working in an elite studio, doing a billion conventions, getting paid more than 25% of my nightly cut, or having my name in flashing lights. Things just happened because my heart didn't need to think about them.
I want that. Just as I pursued opportunity, I will relinquish what I have gained. Without darkness, there would be no light. Without chaos, there would be no peace.

That's all I have to say. Until next time...

'...hopelessly bright.'

Sooo...I took an IQ test just now, just for shits and giggles. My IQ scored a 120, which is above average. Not too bad for taking the thing at 2 am. At least I am smarter than our knucklehead president.

Today I thought about quitting tattooing, jumping on my moped, and driving wherever. Ultimately, I aspire to drive to the ocean, bare moped.
No, there's nothing going down at Atom Age. I just thought about how nice it would be to do something really spontaneous and challenging, not to mention, get a vacation out of the deal.

Sarah made me realize that I do need a vacation. One that doesn't involve tattooing, or anyone else for that matter. One that isn't of me scrambling around trying to meet up with people I haven't seen for months in an alloted time of 2 days. One where it can be just me, the sacred elements, and my old gods. Yeah. That has me thinking about possibilities.
I have been feeling particuliarly odd this past week. I'm not depressed, I'm not angry, I'm not sad...I'm just longing. I love what I do, but I seriously need to start seeking out the rest of my tribe. Or at least, awaken their spirits inside me. I can't let other people's disconcern for compassion be the whip that berates me. I will shine through that callousness. I will not succumb to underhanded loyalties or conformity for the sake of comfort.

I'd rather be the crooked tree that bears the most fruit, than than the prettiest blossom that offers no scent.

Over, and out.

'Helio's light chases the Night...'

Quarter 'til four, and the night never seems to rest. My eyes have been bloodshot all day. 15 hours of sleep within the past 3 days, 2 days to catch up.
I just finished a painting and a half. I seriously need some bigger canvas...and a real studio. My face is covered in pastel, and that's the way I like it.

I stretched my ears again tonite. I am officially 3/4". They are angry at me right now for stretching them so soon, but the tape on my old plugs was driving me crazy. If only I could get my labret to stretch as easily. I may have to tape my labret plug to stretch it next time. Even my septum doen't give me too much fuss about going bigger.

Tattooed all day again today. They were old clients who brought me some new clients. I like tattooing big custom stuff all day. There is a certain respect that the client commands for putting up with such abuse, and a certain mental rush when the tattooing stops and processing reality commences. I am a mongoloid after tattooing for so long. My mind gets stuck in gear, so little things like processing numbers, dates, and any generic information is limited or nearly impossible. Everything and everyone takes on these crazy shapes and colours, it's like some kind of psychodelic trip. I'm surprised anyone can still understand me talk. Hell, I'm surprised I have enough coordination to stand upright.
My clients are loyal, and very understanding. They treated me to dinner before starting round two. I've found a good 15-20 minute break between tattoos is essential. That 15-20 minutes must be spent doing nothing at my station, not even setting up or breaking down. I must be away from working station, preferably staring at a fixed object. That's how I reset my mode. I just gotta let the buzz wear off so I can hop right back into the chair and get 'tattoo drunk' all over again.
I am exhausted. I want a long, refreshing sleep, with a side of foreshadowing dreams. I hope Fate will lend me a sign to help me settle this confusion. My heart won't stop bantering my head, and my lockbox rattles my good intentions. I keep seeing images of a jagged mountain top. Its desolation from rest of the world keeps haunting me. I'd rather be back under the ocean.
I have left a few coins for the sandman. I hope he can delight me with promising visions and physical replenishing. It seems I am the last of the concious lampdusters.

Bleck, and Stuff.

I am so tired and so awake right now. I can't decide if I want to draw or sleep. I didn't actually fall asleep until after 5 am this morning. I saw sunlight enter my room, even though it rained a bit.
I'm going to install a faucet on the side of my head. I'm going to use that faucet to turn my nose drippage off, just like in the cartoons. The right side of my face has drained, now it's the left side's turn. Ahhh, silly weather. Everyone at the studio has been afflicted, but Brian and Ryan have been affected the most. Brian has been sick for the past few weeks, and just as he started feeling better, he got whatever sinus-eating monster that's going around. Ryan actually called out of work, which is very unusual. He def. wasn't himself today.
I don't feel bad at all. My face feels stupid, and my nose won't stop dripping, but that's about as far as that annoyance goes. I feel the best out of all of them, and I'm the only one not taking any medicine. It's my supercells. Last time I was sick to the point of vomitting was back in 7th grade. Notice I did not include any alcohol related sickness, there were plenty of those. The crazy PTS episodes I was having made me feel like I was going to vomit, but mostly they left me feeling like I was dying. The reaction to that medication I was taking wasn't all that fun, either. Having your entire body go into convulsions while you are wide awake and conscious is a rather interesting feeling.
I finished up a very short half of a half sleeve today...I really don't know what to call it. The piece is of two lambs, one on top of the other, holding banners with some background stuff behind it. The thing covers his arm, shoulder to elbow and bicep to tricep, without going ionto his inner bicep. I've been addicted to big mags lately. The piece (which was done in black and grey) should have taken me 5-6 hours, but we rawked it out in less than 3. He had to come back after the first session, which worked out perfectly. Today's session only took me 1/2 hour to do. He was stoked, and told me how he's had nothing but compliments and people stopping him when he goes out into public. Considering he got a piece on his other arm by an artist of inferior calibre, his popular new tattoo has boosted his ego, as well as intensified the meaning behind the design. I think that's the best thing about being a tattoo artist. You can actually change someone's attitude for the better, which can have outward effects on all from that point on. Chain reaction, baby.

I think I like seeing the change more in men than I do women, at least in American culture. I can't speak for many other cultures. Women tend to label their tattoo as 'cute' and 'sexy,' which are words to describe a hair cut or a dress. Guys take their art and and wear it more symbolically, kind of like "I have many tattoos, I am alpha." Which, in my opinion, is what tattoos are all about. It doesn't even matter what they have tattooed on them, they just have more pride in wearing them. Even women in natural tribes got tattooed to symbolize their transcience into adulthood, or mark the number of years they have lived. They don't use little pictures of cartoon characters on concealed areas of their bodies to generate the sex appeal. Lines, dots, marks on their faces, hands, feet, arms...the places that are seen the most are used as their advertising. In essence, they wear them 'loud' to tell more of a story about their place in culture rather than use them as an erotic 'flavor of the week.'
There is a fine line between using a tattoo to 'represent' or 'adorn for sexual purposes.' I really cannot connect with using a butterfly on my upper ass as a billboard for my fertility, but I can't deny what a person thinks is a representation of themselves. Maybe that person is a blossoming butterfly, and the tattoo that they have chosen is truly the epitome of all that resides inside them. Maybe it's the skinny guy in the back who is ashamed of his arms, so a tribal arm band will fulfill what nature has left him lacking. Of course I cannot deny his intentions for wanting something to enhance his body, but at the same time, his tattoo reads as a band-aid to what he thinks is a laceration to society's standards.
It's not just about relating a random (or even cliche) image to an adversity in your life, it's about relating the adversity to an image. Adversity is not all the meaning there is to choose from, either. Imagination is the source of creation.

Alright, I'm stepping off my soapbox now.

A Deep Rant.

It's getting late in the AM, but I am not tired yet. I wasn't able to get to sleep until 4 am. Something has me stirred, and I'm not quite sure what its intentions are.

Suddenly, a bad memory, like a random nightmare, keeps me awake. A message lingers that I hope is not as malignant as its origin.

I found some letters tonite, conversations if you will. I had saved them because I knew one day I would have to read over them. I read them without anger, but with sincere disappointment and hurt. Everything fell into place. I wish I had seen it sooner. I would have left sooner...No. Those who know me know I would not betray them. Those who know me know I am in it until the end. Those who know me know that my silence is not something to be taken lightly.

I avoided contact as much as I could. It hurts to read such things, and to know the author will never think twice about the things that were said. I hate thinking about it, so I don't. I only wish I could turn my heart off as easily as you turned off yours.

I hope that you understand, saying something spiteful out of a temper is understandable and forgiveable. Saying something spiteful out of sheer vindictiveness is nothing short of an atrocity.

Sorry if this is more of a negative post. My heart wanted me to know something tonite, and I want its assailant to feel the intensity of its displeasure.

Long Time, No Nothing.

Mmm, it's been a little while since I've published some schtuff. I really don't know where to begin, not that there has been a whole lot happening...

Let's see, Dustin and I have been taking advantage of the weather. I believe it was Saturday when it was 66 degrees at night, but rainy and humid. I got home early from work and just about shot out the door on my moped like a rocket. D came over just in time, and we ended up puddle jumping in the back alleys of G-burg. We stopped off at the Stinkin' Lincoln, visited Iris, and just hung out until the rain became a little more persistent.
Sunday I met D in the afternoon, and we went to El Costeno for lunch. Man, I miss that place. The Rancho Grande just isn't the same. We ended up buzzing around for a bit, stopping off at the local Mexican grocery stores in search of cases of Sangria Soda. WE found a place that carries the single bottles in glass OR plastic! Way wierd. They also had glass bottles of Pepsi, Coke, and 7-up, which was cool. If only they had Dr. Pepper...my brother would be in heaven.
Monday, I took it easy and just hung around the house. Brian closed the shop Monday and Tuesday, which was nice to have a few days off. I woke up feeling a little congested, which is mostly a product of this wacky weather. Sarah and I walked to the library and then to the Ragged Edge to hang out and spend some roomie time together. I picked up a Japanese coursebook packet, and spent the rest of the day locked in my room learning Japanese. Surprisingly, their grammar and phonetics aren't really that hard to pick up. I think the tricky part will be learning the various different script types, etiquette, and metaphorical expressions. I have plans of taking a class on it as well.
Tuesday...I had been having a craving for lemongrass soup, so I met Ryan and Morgan up in Mechanicsburg and we hit up Bankok Wok. Needless to say, I have eaten very well in the past few days LOL! I think that lemongrass soup was exactly what I needed because I feel a ton better than I did yesterday.

Other than the silly weather, work has been steady. Saturday I had a client sit for 6 hours as we worked on his lower arm sleeve. He's a fantastic guy, very soft spoken and honest. We will be done with the lower portion soon, so then it's on to his upper arm. He's also very lenient with my work, and I am VERY grateful for that.

I've had quite a few repeat clients and referrals within the past few months. I guess I don't suck as bad as I thought! I've had a lot more inquiries about portraits and such, which is cool, because I haven't done a people portrait for a good spell. They can be quite tricky, but I'm looking forward to the challenge.

My co-workers have also provided me with some great tattoo opportunites. Morgan would like Ryan and I to do a collaboration on her back. Ryan's getting a gianormous leg sleeve thingy. Landon is getting a sweet Yuki-Onna. Laura wants me to do a cover-up on her arm. I also owe Fuz a severed Medusa head, and Kevin had mentioned something about getting some ink. I'm still trying to figure out what I want and where. There are soooo many ideas, I just don't know what I want to do with them all. Besides, I do have an oni that needs some love first.

Blargh. I'm not sure what I have going on tomorrow. All 4 of us are going to be in tomorrow, which means baskets of fun and amusement. I forgot how fun it is working with guys! Between Ryan and Landon having a battle of words and hand-flarping contests, to Brian getting barraged with penis jokes, those guys keep me looking forward to the day, even if it's been a shitty week.

I suppose that was a hearty update. If the weather keeps me roombound, I shall try to update more often. If I go missing, it's either one of two things: I am out sacrificing to the moped gods, or aliens have finally returned to take me back to my home planet. Until Menyana!

"It's time for something great..."

Welp, the new year is here, and the world has not been destroyed...yet.
I spent New Year's eve at Kurt and Nat's house. Kurt made a ridiculously huge pile of chicken parmigiana, garlic bread, and I made my infamous taco dip. We all ate, drank, and proceeded to the silliness run rampant. I got there at 7ish, ate, and watched The Fifth Element until the tv was pasted with images of Time Square. We all deemed the American version of New Year's to be boring, so we flipped it over the Spanish channel. There, we witnessed ankle bungee jumping, a Mexican NYE Mafia leader, silly hats and glasses, and language pronounciation differences that made us all smile. The fun thing about the Mexican/Spanish channel was that the time zone was an hour behind, so we ended up watching New Year's Eve twice. It was like going back in time!!! HAHA not really, but it's fun to pretend.
We goofed off for a while, and I the last thing I remember was dozing off, hearing the crack of a beer, opening my eyes just as Kurt screamed "More Beer!" in a high pitched voiced, then looking over at the clock and realizing it was 4 am. He and Brocious continued drinking until 5 am.
Kurt and Brocious woke up and ran to the store to get eggs. They came back and concocted breakfast for us all. I can't remember what time we got up, but I'm pretty sure it was after 12:30/closer to 1. I left around 3 and spent the rest of the day mopeding/working on moped.

There was this strange stretch of backroad, and the environment around me vibrated in some wierd energy, I really can't describe it. The sky was the strangest shade of blue, and the sun was a small ball on my left. To my right, the moon was nearly full, but veiled by the clouds. For a moment, I lost my sense of time. It felt like 12 am, but it was still light outside. It soon got cold (even with 6 layers of clothing on), so D and I headed back to G-burg. Since nothing was open, we went back to my house and proceeded to wrench on the Sebring some more. I think we have gained ground on the electrical issue, and once I get the right tools, the flywheel is coming off PDQ.

Work was a little quiet today, and I guess that's good for Brian. He developed some kinda of ear/throat inflammation, so he's not feeling the best. I did have a girl come in today who wanted to get tattooed. It was obvious this girl had been through some chemo, but Brian had tattooed her before, so I didn't think anything out of the ordinary since she was very spunky and energetic. Brian handed her over to me, I helped her with her design, and she was ready to get it done. Something didn't seem right. I copy her driver's liscense, then realized what the problem was. I turned to her and asked her if she's had chemo, she says yes. I ask her if she's taking any meds, she says "Yes." I ask her what kind, and she says "Anti-rejection meds, because I had a bone marrow transplant."
I looked at her and said, "You cannot get tattooed." She looked at me and asked why not, and I told her that her immune system is fucked-up right now, and the fact that the anti-rejection meds are most likely going to react badly to having foreign matter in her body. I told her to call her doctor and ask him, so she did, and they told her NO WAY. They said that if she were to have gottened tattooed today, the worst case scenario is that her organs would suffer major damage, and she could go into shock and die.
Of course she was bummed, I was bummed for her. I apologized for raining on her parade, but I'm glad I didn't lax on the questionnaire. Hopefully she will get well soon, and be able to get all the tattoos she wants after all that stuff is out of her body.

I have an appointment in a few weeks for a serious massage. I had a mini one over the break, and it left me sore (which i figured was normal) and on the verge of PTS-ness. It had me worried because I thought it may have triggered a PTS episode, but luckily it dissipated in a little less than a week. I don't think I have to worry about a major PTS episode for a good while, since the catalyst has been removed from the equation.

Hmmm, I guess that's all to report for now. I know, I know, this blog is boring, but you did read it, so that's your own damn fault! Until later...