Dangerous in Eyes

Where has the time gone?

So it's been a little while since updated-age-ness-sim-ed-ly-er-ing-tion-ability-ous.

I wonder if anyone else catches/remembers/appreciates that.

Let's see now, where, how do I begin. Last month was rough. We lost a friend and her unborn daughter in a car accident. I've had friends killed in car accidents before, but it seems this one hits a little closer to home, especially since it encompasses a deep, extended network of friends and family.
I have been unable to visit Nikki due to wierd freak situations (and we concluded there might be a reason I am not allowed to visit her, so we won't push it.) She and Ben left to go across country for the next two weeks. Thorsett will also be leaving to go across country within the next few weeks.
Emily left work to go on maternity leave. The studio will be quieter without her.
The website thing hit a snag, and I'm a little frustrated with it. I'll have to seek out some help to get it going again.
There, the bad is done.

Work at FTC has been great. I've been busy picking up new clients as well as old. The name is getting out there, and work is steady through the door. BTM was retardedly busy this week. I don't really plan on picking clients up there, but I have a few who seem interested now that I am there. It's nice, but I'm finding the less I think about it, the crazier it gets. I guess it's good and bad.

On a rambling note, I am told by many that I am not a selfish or emotionally ignorant person. I wish I had the super powers to make others that way. I use the handle 'angryclothespin' because it's part of an old poem, not because it describes how I feel. Looking back on old journal posts, there is nothing angry about them.
Just a desire to share what I see to those who are aware.
I did not succeed.

A friend has told me I have a way of seeing on such a more intricate level, that it surpasses the understanding of my audience. In other words, I see more in a simple situation (which makes it more comlex or intricate), and because of that, my audience is incapable of understanding what I'm talking about. I think I'm just too damn redundant. (Insert HAR here).
It just makes me frustrated/disappointed when the people I care about can't see the obvious, or worse, are too lame to accept 'possibilities.' Then, in misunderstanding, become disassociated with my presence.

Sometimes I wish I could be more 'normal,' and just be able to explain complex things in such a way that a retarded monkey would understand. It would make things a lot easier. I ask myself whether it is my fault I couldn't find the right words, or if it is the fault that my audience lacks the ability to relate. A combination of both, I'm sure, but occurance is much too often and with too much negative repercussion.

I still believe that this is how things need to correspond...and hope there is an apparent reasoning behind all that 'goes wrong'. One day I'll be able to step away from the echoes of misunderstanding, be it with the living peace or with imminent death. I still consider my opponents, but I tend to forget the chivalrous are a dying breed.