Jonx, Jinx, Janx

"Waddup," from Jinx.

That's right, I'm hanging with Jinx, Cali, and Edgar. Cali has been super affectionate since I brought her here, Edgar is still Edgar, and Jinx, well...Jinx could care less. Jinx' behavior has definetly changed since Saige died. He has become more restless and active, and I know that sounds absurd since he is a snake. I have thought about getting him a girl, but I don't know. I've had both of them since they were hatchlings, and I wouldn't want to bear the chance of getting an ill-tempered adult or a weak, anorexic hatchling. Time will tell, I suppose.

I'm getting anxious about this weekend. I hear the weather is supposed to be splendid, which is a welcome treat for moped ridin'. I've begun the search to replace tattooing in my life. I'm not sure what's out there and what I am even qualified to do, but I'll find something. I'm not really worried about it. It will be a fun journey, just like tattooing was in the beginning. I still have to go out to Pittsburgh, though, since I did promise them months ago I'd fill in for Fuz. Josh has offered me a chair for a couple weeks, but I might resist the temptation just so I don't get too sentimental about getting back into the swing of things. Everyone wants to see me open up my own studio, except for, well...me. I like travelling so that's the first thing that deters me. The second would be my disillusionment of the industry and the people within the industry. I'm tired of kissing other people's asses only to have my heart raveged by disappointment. I'm tired of people telling me that if I have a problem, they'll sit down and help 'resolve' it (and by that, they mean tell me it's their way or the highway), and then they flip out or get super bitchy because I'm T R Y I N G to have a discussion with them. Then I get pinned with being disrespectful, like I'm trying to tell them how to do their jobs. I don't want their fucking job. I just want them to consider what I have to say and not shut me down when I have a major concern. I've tried to keep my mouth shut and remain quiet, then it's perceived as me plotting against everyone. Fuck that. I don't have the energy to plot. Besides, Fate throw a wrench in my plans almost everytime.
So maybe I'd make a good boss one day, or maybe I won't. With my luck, it will be something stupid that keeps me from being successful in that department. The thought of owning my own does not make me happy at all at this point. The numbers, the worry, the stress...Yea right. My heart would just explode on the spot. That's why I like being behind the scenes, until I get taken advantage of and/or excluded, ignored, and abandoned by my 'team.' That's what has disillusioned me the most. The rest is just greedy, money-driven power-trippers who have no appreciation for the art aspect of tattooing.
Everyone keeps telling me people like that are everywhere, and I really wish I could prove them otherwise. I enjoy helping people, interacting with them, and I love being a part of things. When people forget to appreciate and seek expectation in it's wake, it really makes me unhappy to be doing what I do. I'd love to avoid the general involvement of society altogether, but yea, that's not happening anytime soon.

So yea. A reprieve is just what I need. If I get back into tattooing, swell, because I really do enjoy it, but if there is something else that takes my fancy, then so be it.