Effect of the Cause.

And where was I, this day, what is not so long ago?
Frail, skinny;
Invisible.

It's funny what they say about all things happening for a reason. I feel it is a good reason, but I haven't quite reached that understanding. Maybe I won't. Not in this lifetime.
and I don't have much time.

There is an answer that looms in the untouchable realm. Unto which is sought, there, it will not be found. The simplest rule, and always the first rule.

Happiness though, mistaken for elevation in joyful emotion, is nothing more than an accepted neutrality in the Great Balance. Much like the Yin and Yang. A darkness is a precursor to morning, and morning a precursor to darkness. Once you go beyond the obvious acceptance of that cycle, you reach a level where they mean nothing. Morning is neither celebrated nor despised. Darkness is neither happiness nor sadness. They are what they are. Once that is contemplated to the point where it becomes a feeling rather than thought, it is truly happiness...it's an amazing transformation of...something. It's the unknown energy. The greatest of all the intangibles.

My grip is weak, at best, and I find myself developing an internal arrhythmia to the essential being. I know there is a place where these thoughts become complacent. I experience it often, yet like a daily pilgrimage, I travel the same miles to feel it. It's all there so that I will not become a captive to idle days.

I know I am well...at least in comparison to all I was. I find it hard to believe there are such things as malicious, resentful people. I could easily ruin myself contemplating that idea for too long. I don't carry those seeds. Somehow, I do without.
Still, there is that question. If only they realized that my eyes are mirrors to their own, maybe the answer would be a little clearer. The concept of misunderstanding still remains, and I question its role in that which has challenged me.

This means nothing to you, those who read this. It is merely a memoir from the mass eating the back of my head. Goodnight.