MD to CA, as the crow flies.

5 days left!!
5 days and hopefully, crosses fingers that the weather holds out, I'll be basking in the Sunshine of the West Coast. 58-61 degrees Fahrenheit. Yep.
Too stoked. Literally. I'm having a hard time containing my giddiness.

Nervous about how busy it's going to be, but I'm trying not to worry about it too much. I'm really looking forward to hanging out with friends, meeting new people, and riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiidddddddiiiiiiingg! Well, hopefully.


Baltimore Convention was a bust. Headed down on Thursday night, got snowed in at a friend's house, and they took until Tuesday to get the roads cleared enough to make the Great Escape form the city. Sooo, yea...didn't get to see muh peeps, didn't get to experience the energy of the convention, but...I did get to have mucho fun being snowed in with friends and willed-poosie-chats (Asian Leopard Cats). We had wayyyy too much fun, ate wayyyyy too much food, and did what we could to occupy ourselves until we could see the sidewalks. Good times.

So yea, still got a bunch of stuff to do, like packing, and waiting for last minute supplies to get here, as well as juggling a few big tattoo projects before I leave. Sunday, I have a humongous start of a leg sleeve, which is going to be bonkers. I'll try to get time to toss some flix up on the ol' website when I get finished with the outline.
Alright, kiddies, that's enough for now. I'll report back when my feet have officially landed on Californian soil!
Until then!

Heya!

So hey, internet-world!
I don't even know if anyone reads this thing anymore, but that's totally cool...I'mma still update it!

The biggest news as of late is my up-coming trip, no, Winter Hiatus, next month. I decided last year that I did not want to stick around for Winter in MD/PA this year, so I'm heading out to the Gold Coast to live/work until whenever I feel like coming back. I bought a one-way ticket to give myself a bit of positive uncertainty to look forward to, as well as give myself an opportunity to roll with the punches in the event that my trip needs to be cut short (or extended).

I chose San Francisco based on its moderate climate, and because I really enjoyed myself when I was out there almost 2 years ago (ughh, I can't believe it's been that long).
I think a few people think that I won't come back to the East coast...I hope they are wrong!

Work's been good, sometimes a slow week or two, sometimes a busy week or two. That's how it is. I've been pretty minimalist with advertising as well as staying put, which I look forward to changing once I get back form the West coast. Even with the lax attitude with promoting myself, I still get new clients and big projects to work on, so I guess I'm not that bad! The majority of the travel bug has been washed out of my system, so I'm finally ready to settle back down in a studio again and take on a heavier schedule.

BTG is most likely where I'll be...The guys have been trying to coerce me into working there since before they've opened, but I knew that committing to work there full-time with such a serious travel bug in my body was going to be counter-productive. We all get along super well, so I'm anticipating the actual nestling down and sticking my nose back into the grind-stone.
There is also another shop that will be opening very close to the epicenter of my travels, and they have expressed interest in having me work there. So, if I decide to commit there as well, I'd probably break my schedule into 2-3 weeks with BTG, then 1 week out of the month with the new shop.
I'm still going to be doing guest spots, but the majority of my time will most likely be spent up at BTG.

Health-wise, things have been good. I had a few issues a few months ago, which included a barrage of tests and what-not, as well as a trip to the ER. Since then, I've been taking further action to maintain my health, and it appears that any future issues will not be a terrifying ordeal.
*************************************************************************

Moped season was super rad this past year. I finally met up with a crew in the area, and we've been hanging out, going to rallies, and just being stupid/silly. We really hit it off after I arranged a weekend rally in Gettysburg, and since, we've proven that we can spend almost a week without wanting to kill each other! It's everything I'd thought it would be!
I don't know what I have planned for this rally season, especially since my focus has [finally] shifted back into making my tattooing schedule more consistent. I know it's silly to say this, but I do plan on heading back out to SF in September, since that is the Creature's rally. The last one was two years ago, and it was by far, one of the best experiences of my life.

I have a few projects that need to be finished, but I feel like I haven't had much dedication to really get them finished. The Sebring is getting completely made over, so that was a huge undertaking. The Snark has been awesome...haven't blown it up yet. I still have a few more engines to rebuild, as well as a franken-ped project, so I have my hands pretty full.
**************************************************************************

I'll be at the Baltimore Convention this year, but I won't be tattooing. I'll probably be running around, being a gopher for my fellow friends and artists who need someone to do things for them. Should be fun either way, I always enjoy the energy of a convention and seeing all my tat-bros and brahs.
**************************************************************************

I think that's a pretty hearty, healthy update. I suppose once I head out to SF, I'll be sooper-giddy and bloggy. For now, any pertinent information can be found on my website...www.chikkenscratch.com!
Catch ya's on teh flip-side!

Wandering

It was just a note, just a word, just a moment.
The Universe is not cruel, yet not caring of our wants.

It exists to promote life, to flourish, then to whither back into into the Great Mystery.
The debt of life is paid, and so creation can go on

The Universe is not cruel, yet not conceding to our every wish.
I still remind myself that this,
This is just a note, just a word, just a moment,
and nothing that can't, one day, be undone.

Strange Currents

Fighting sleep.
Don't know why.

I keep thinking about the image of strange currents; Swirling about in my head.
A constant reflux of reminders, yet, a vision.

Five years, an azure mountain, the dead leaves, and the fires that rage on,
year after year.
There are moments when my heart opens,
Offering my vulnerability.
There is none there to receive,
and so the gates slowly counter swing
and interlock.
I am assured that there will never be resolution, yet I hope.
I still hope for no purpose.
A strange current,
it marks the path where emotion forces passage.
It swirls in a violent eddy, exposing it's silver waters
like the gleaming fangs of a wild dog.

Somehow, I am comforted rather than frightened,
I am watchful.
At the other end of the torrent, I know that the moulded earth
slowly withers away under that river's endless current.

Green Sky Musings

Well, it's that time...
Yep. Update time.

Tattooing is fun, I like it.
More traveling has been happening, more to come. Check my website @ www.chikkenscratch.com for the details. I'm too ADD at the moment to repost them.

************************************************************************************

Yup. Mopeding riding as usual. Killed the Snark. Well, actually, Ben killed the Snark, but it wasn't his fault. After two years, TWO YEARS, of subjecting the Snark engine to pure PUNISHMENT and TORTURE, it was an absolute fluke that sent 'er screaming to the pearly gates.
Upon inspection of the carnage that was laid to waste, it appears a small chunk of the nearly indestructible Polini separated from it's permanent home inside the cylinder. It made contact with the piston, and the two became enemies instantaneously. I'm not sure how the cylinder did not suffer more backlash of the two nemeses unyielding circumstance, but it appears the piston was not victorious over the concourse of combustion physics.

The victor had claimed its spoils, and the cosmic euphoria that shrouds the mystic pleasures of 'moped ride' had ceased to reign. Its operator(s) were left disheveled, confused, accusatory of the firm moped gods, lamenting the joy that is now bereft of their mechanical companion.

Such is moped, and this is the reason the keepers of all moped breeds keep many a moped in their herd. It is the death of one, but many remain to keep the joy and hope alive in hearts and minds of two-stroke tuners near and abroad.

*************************************************************************************

Football season is almost upon us. I can't wait. I was jumping up and down when I saw the showcase game of the Giants vs the Pamfers (Panthers). Happy, Happy, big men with armor smashing into each other, into inanimate objects, into unsuspecting cameramen, smashing into the terra firma, the onslaught of warrior vs warrior, the glorious marriage of strength and tactic, pure brute force and flashing spandex contouring to the every twitch of massive man-thighs. Yea. Pathetic, I realize. It is a beautiful sight, a symbolic ballet of inertia and precision. Hoo-ray!

************************************************************************************

I feel like ass right now, which may or may not explain the unusual typing style for this evening. Went to the Cardio doc, and he thinks upping my sodium intake is a good idea. Two pills, two times a day, Sodium Chloride. Your body needs it to function on a daily basis.
I think my body hates it.

Literally, within seconds of taking them, I get severely nauseous...you know the kind...you start salivating (that liquid, non-sticky, almost water kind of saliva) in preparation for your stomach contents to make their slippery way to the back of your esophagus, and into whatever container you have at hand.
Minutes pass slowly, hours stray; The feeling doesn't go away.

They taste like an overwhelming gulp of briney sea-swells, and make gagging a welcome expression of their admittance into the body.

I'm not sure how long I have to take them. If it doesn't fix me, the next course requires a series of prodding medical tests, and the waiting game.
Worst case scenario may require the installation of a pacemaker.

*************************************************************************************

I think that's plenty enough for this evening. Once more shall this nonsense resume when I actually have something semi-important to say.
I bid all the readers out there in internetland and fond Adieu.

The Yellowed-eyed Messenger

Here I am, taking a breather.
Whoa.

A lot of traveling going on. I'm digging it. I'm not sure what my path is, I'm just going with it until the survey is over. I guess I have no other decent alternative.

The persistence is remarkable, really. Floating about, here and there, waiting for the violets to appear. The fire and the light, reaching shadows cast onto ultramarine snowflakes. That was a good dream.
I saw a picture of a lion, etched into a black background. His eyes were wild yellow, but his expression left me feeling intrigued. He was to the right of a heart, staring intently toward the northeast. It was a moment of crepuscular clarity...Not quite dawn, not quite dusk; Not quite sure, not quite afraid. Mecca, sent by Ero? Maybe?
Don't think about it.

The call tempts me, but I cannot find that one spot there, the one where humanity melts away, and I am left in complete awe. I am hoping that it is because Winter's bare shell deceive my senses. I have neglected it for a while. I know it's still there, it never really leaves. It just becomes harder to come back to after all these years. I am confident...somewhat. I'm a little out of step with the rhythm as of right now. I don't know the severity of it, I just know I'm spinning away from the realm of common minds. It might be minor, like, this is what is supposed to happen...or it could be one of those things where you see yourself falling, but the hope of an eternal sky blinds the horizon that quickly approaches.

Earth. That's where I am now. All I can do is wait.

Eh, the lingering threat of indifference. I am learning that although some emotion is omitted, ignorance does not necessarily stem from this seed. I'm not sure what to do with the new-found wisdom...it doesn't seem like wisdom at all...but I suppose that might be part of what I'm supposed to be doing with it. Keep your head down, keep your nose to the grindstone, they would say.

Lastly, I'd like to take this time to mention how thankful I am that the mind forgets. I am calm, but feeling bland. This is a long entry. This is a long entry that probably makes absolutely no sense to anyone.

I'm going to go practice another language now.
Happy Spring.

Sleep is over-rated.

SoooOoOOooooo...
I had a nightmare for the first time in years last night. It was a rather weird thing. I forgot how vivid my dreams get in the right circumstances.
The odd part is that I cannot even begin to explain said nightmare. It was a clusterfuck of absolute absurdity.

I remember that it was about weird shit happening as I was about to fall asleep...yea, I was having a nightmare about having a nightmare...pretty ingenius, right?

One thing that was scary was that things kept trying to take me..I think. I remember a lot of asinine jibbajabba and abstract physics happenin' around me. For some reason, this combination was extra-terrifying. One thing that comes to mind was my body being lifted for no reason and doors becoming transparent as I walked up to them. There was a grasping of my torso, and a coldness that seemed to linger with it. I just kept feeling like I was possessed, which, for the record, I've had happen in the past during a dream...well, it felt like a possession to me. That time had a lot of significance tacked on to it, but this time...well, I just don't know.

I kept screaming in this nightmare. This is weird in itself because I hardly ever express fear in a raging, ear-piercing series of harsh vocalizations. Usually, the shock keeps me running for about 10 seconds, then the grasp of reality leaves me silently contemplating the relevance with stinging, weak legs and a heartbeat that would put a marathon runner to shame.

So um, I can't remember much else, other than it was really intense. I remember thinking at some point in my dream that I needed to wake up...at which time, I believe I opened my eyes and consciously evaluated my surroundings while still in dream mode. I saw my room, and the light that creeps in from the hallway. I saw how it bounced off the floor and walls, and the few boxes next to my bed. I saw those things, and did mentally reach for them, hoping to wake up. I was sooo close, but my dream pulled my back as if I was bound to it by an elastic band.
I tried multiple times to wake up, and although my eyes were opened and I was cognitively thinking, I could not escape from it. This ultimately led to more terror compounding to the already scary bits of my dream world.

Then I woke up. Ahh, the paralysis of dream shock. A moment of complete autonomic failure where you are strapped into whatever position you fell alseep in, complete with an ejaculated by-product of overstimulated microorganisms. My body was stinging, and my heart felt like it was on the verge of implosion. Yet, there I was, unable to do a goddamn thing about it. I looked at the clock, and realized I had only been asleep for an hour, at most.

Yep.
That was my evil dream sequence. I wish I could have gone into details about it, but yea...The end.

No. Yes. Maybe...

So, I felt like being bloggy again.
BloggGaBlOOGAbLOggABlog.

I also feel like listing random words I think are great...like banana...
...and cucumber.
and Mayonnaise.
'Bork' is a fun one I find myself saying a lot, too...thanks Thor.
Pineapple.
Most of these are foods. I'm not hungry. They are just fun to say.

This online journal thing is pretty funny, too. I'm sure most people who have these things write these crazy, long, intricate entries, get really into them, pour their heart and soul into it, smile, then push the /post/ button.
Yep. Just like that.
Then, the next day, they go check out their blogs, maybe to make another post, and look back on that previous entry. Then they think, "WTF is this crap!??!?!?!"
Yea...that happens all the time. I guess it's a persistent pursuit to be on top of the 'artistic' aspects of one's self. Fwhhhatevar.

There is no point to this post.

Just a ramble...
the end.

The Ol' Switcharooney?

So, I have a thought I'd like to share to the internet...
It appears that parallel universes exist...sort of.

Since this is somewhat of a personal journal-thing, I feel I must divulge what I think may be a recently discovered truth about myself. As for the relationship with the title, this self-discovery makes me feel like a reversal role.

I think I'm getting better at words, and stuff.

I know, that sounds rather silly, but as I remember from the past, I sometimes had hard times talking to people. I can remember talking to certain individuals, and getting this knot in my stomach, sweating my ass off, and after pretty long in-depth conversations, I walked away feeling like I had just watched the most mind-numbing movie ever. You know those types of conversations, you go in with every honest intent to dispose a truth, or find out what the other person is thinking, and you come out feeling like your mind is full of static and your stomach gets these pangs of complete failure.
You sit there and contemplate said conversation, and feel completely drained, like you just spent all day building a sand castle, and this big ol' wave from nowhere comes along and eats it.

I feel that in the past couple months, I have been better at getting to the point much faster, more efficient, without being as redundant (cause I am gooooooood at that! HA!) as I used to be. I think with my reborn lacksidaisical attitude toward most things, I no longer confuse myself with making sure I get every little detail that seemed important into the conversation. For the most part, I don't get as knotted-up when I discuss things with people, I don't debate with my beliefs as much, and in some regard, I think I actual break through to people...well, maybe not with as much impact as I'd really like, but I feel they may be picking up more than 10% of what I'm saying...you know what I'm sayin'?

So, in contemplation, I'd like to think that my chakras are little bit more in line (well, except for my solar plexus, but that will come in time). That's my educated guess. It comes and goes, some days I still feel like I'm speaking with a mouth full of cotton, some days I feel like I can't find the right words to make a coherent sentence, and some days I just worry about getting everything I need to say out, and that creates this torrent of non-structured speech that is indecipherable, redundant, and full of moot points.
*Note: 'moot' is a funny word.

I also think it helps that I've been able to keep my core energy from being sucked dry from my audience as I converse. There are people out there who have an uncanny ability to do this (whether intentionally or unintentionally). It lets me keep my energy for the more climactic and relevant points of my dialogue.

So yea, I just felt like being bloggy today. That pretty much concludes my rant. Stay tuned for more ridiculousness.

Back from the semi-dead.

So....uhhh,, hey, all. What's goin' on?

Ummm, well...where do I begin?
I guess I should explain that I have chosen to fall off the face of the Earth...which is kinda cool. Total hermit-tude is nice every now and again.

I just came back from San Francisco...that was effing rad. Seriously. The scenery was spectacular, the vibe was stereotypical laid-back California style, and I almost shed a tear when I looked back at the Gold Coast and it quickly sank behind the horizon. The weather was right up my alley, too. The major sucky thing about it was the price of living, and all of the bums. Like, seriously. Baltimore has its fair share, but in SF, you can't take more than 5 steps without someone asking for money. It's frustrating. I even had a verbal rumble with a drug-head in a Burger King. Apparently, she 'knew me' and we were once best friends until I messed around with her boyfriend at the time. She wouldn't leave me alone. I've never raised my voice to a complete stranger before that day. It was a new experience to say the least.

A while ago, I started weekly ACP treatment (which has evolved into monthly appointments). I'm definitely in a different groove, but I don't know if it's from that, my traveling lifestyle, or just aging. Not that it's a bad thing at all. In fact, I think with more clarity, feel with more rationality, and over-all, I've just sort of...I dunno, leveled out for the most part. The only drawback is that I feel direction-less and unconcerned. Well, looking at the sentence and saying it in my head, it isn't necessarily a draw-back at all.

What else can be mentioned...??
Meh. Nothing really important. I've neglected this thing long enough. I suppose that's how it's going to be from now on. I've been doing guest spots here and there since I left Flesh. It's been pretty cool. It's nice to set my own hours. I miss some of my co-workers, though. Not all of them, but most of them.

Anyways, that's a good hearty, wholesome blog, me thinks. Hopefully I'll have something worthwhile to say next time I post. Until then, Adieu!

Supersonic on the tips of bird wings.

I haven't forgotten about you.
I have forgotten what I wanted to say.

I have been to many places this past year. I have traveled more than I have in any other year. I am scheduled to travel even more.
Even when I am at home, I am always traveling. I catch the updrafts of the ridge, and follow the rain back down to the river.
I wonder, if I could travel back in time, would I want to? Oh, of course a part of me says, "Sure, I could change this or that." Then there is a larger part of me that says to leave well enough alone. Permanence has a more valuable lesson than erasing error.
I am traveling while I am waiting. Five years rings in my mind. Five more years. Five years could mean a great disappointment. Five years could be the ultimate light's soft presence. I doubt I will know when and where until it is time.

A robin has chosen to make her nest on the door, amidst a door wreath made of garden hose. Why she has chosen such an awkward spot, I haven't the foggiest. The poor thing scatters at any sight or sound of movement, but yet she has laid a total of three eggs in three days. I wonder why she stays, and what attracted her to begin with. Birds have a strange way of succeeding when there is nothing to claim of victory. For that, I am humbled.

Smoke and Mirrors

There and gone.

Time Travel and the Expanses of Collapse

So, I have to get this out while there is still some of it left in my mind.

The other day I was minding my own business, when I realized a couple things. I can't remember what the first one was, but the second thought was about the continuity of death. It made me think of black holes.

The universe is, well, eternal. ETERNAL. That's a very, very, VERY hard thing to comprehend...or, is it?

Not really. Eternal is not the beginning or the end. It encompasses both as one. Black holes have a similar lifespan. Collected from the absence of life, a star, a nebula, an explosion. From a chemical reaction, to a crushing nothing, there is no existence of death. Did you see what I just typed? "...an absence of life..., to absence of death. That makes a lot of sense if you can understand the right pitch.

I do believe death is eternal, but not meant as in permanent. I don't believe there is a conscious life after death. Your physical self gets stripped down to molecules, but your true essence is stripped down to something more significant. Think of it as if your soul was made of atoms and particles. Death is merely a redistribution of them. Some get cast into the reaches of the universe, some get cast into the mind and body of a garden slug, and some just go into things that we have not discovered. If enough of them stay together, you might call it reincarnation.
[edited]
I typed up this long comparison of black holes and death, but found it to be to nerdy and redundant. So please, feel free to entertain yourself as you ponder this post. You might not get it, but you might just realize something else and make a completely off-topic, incoherent post about golfcarts and cheez-whiz. It might be intellectual, it might be sensational, it just might be remedial!

Dressed in Green

Hail, all the love that is a growling whisper, captured not by the sea nor the wind nor the frozen river.
In the sky, we stand, watching upon horizons that dance with the sunlight,
let us not believe that there will ever be night.
Beyond the grave of the waking dead, there will be a valley in which the rain does not pass;
Keep to the sky, and and do not glance back at the grasping flame,
make not a word that would tell of your existence,
Go with the wind into heavens,
and know not a single groan will wither thy spirit.

Shining Shades of Ochre

Man, I just have to say, I love my job, I love my coworkers, and I love being around my friends and family. Seriously.
I was beginning to think that I disliked tattooing. Nope. I just disliked working around negative and manipulative people. I was beginning to think I was alone. Not at all. Karma visits all who risk indifference.
My family thought I was dying, and I almost did. I thought my life had been trapped by the fists of misfortune. No. It was to make sure I knew how to rise against all things that oppress me.
I am fortunate. I am fortunate for many things. I try to be grateful for all these things.

I am awake. I am right where I need to be. I do not doubt my conscious. I KNOW my intentions were right. My adversaries will whither in their own bitterness. I know I am better than that.

I haven't much time, but I'm glad I've made it this far. Good company can ward off the most vile of intent. That is my talisman for all things that oppress me. I am fortunate that it is a simple thing to come by in this world.

Well, that's all for now. It has been a long day, and the night will be short. Until next time....

And once there was a ...ummmm.... what?

Ahh, updates. Yes.

Everything has been going very well. Work is steady, the holidays are almost here, and things are a'happenin'.

"Come and see, come and see..."

Well, I had a lot to say before I started typing this, now it seems I haven't much but a bunch of buzzing in my head zzZZZzZzzZZzZzZZ

Tomorrow I plan on doing nothing. Nada, zip, zero, zilch. It's probably for the best. I feel as though Saturday's marathon took a little bit more energy out of me than I thought. Not to mention, I've been drinking a lot of water which can make me feel worse.
I need a hair cut, too. It's getting pretty shaggy on the ol' melon.

Alright, well that was pretty pointless. More to come, I hope. Adios!

Level Up!

I ate too many pretzels, tonite. Their effect is slowly wearing off now, and I can focus on writing this so that I may get to bed.

I stayed at class late tonight, and I talked to Gina for 2 hours after class. I don't know how it managed to be two hours, but it was a very intricate conversation. My level of respect has gone up a few notches because of it. It's not that I didn't respect Gina before, oh no. Gina is awesome! I have more respect because she thought nothing of it.
I don't feel like such a weirdo after talking to her. Well, maybe weirdo isn't the word. I don't feel like I am so alone in what I feel and believe. I always hoped there were others that see the same things, and feel the same things, but after discussing it tonight, I feel like I truly found another of my 'feather.'

So anyways, I am right here where I need to be, no if, ands, or buts about it. This is where I have been led. The Great Fate has guided me closer to balance, even though I am kicking myself for not listening sooner. I pray that I can become closer to the Great Force and make my way to the deeper channel of life, beyond any mental eddies. I want to keep my composure in the face of adversity, and have a greater faith in Karma. I don't ever want to be consumed by bitterness.
I don't think I'm doing bad for myself in the least bit. I'm definitely not fighting to stay positive in a negative environment. I'm grateful I don't have that to worry about.

So down the line, I am confident of all that has happened, and all that may still happen. I just have to meditate a little harder, and try to do it as much as I can, when I can. I want to be at that level that I saw in another human being tonight. I don't want to surpass it right now, I just want to be there.

That's it, that's all I have for my littler blurb right now. Stay tuned for more to come!

'Centered, Grounded, Guided.'

Well, I'm starting to write this at 3:39 AM. I am wide awake because, well, I am. Part of the norm and all. I just finished writing an email to a guy I have never met. I wrote to him because I want him to know his story is the same story a few of us have learned.
It goes back to my saying that history repeats itself, and unless you figure out what you are doing wrong, you are going to live it and relive it all over again. Once the situation becomes new, then you know you have successfully learned and moved on to the next level.

Not for some, though. I think that it is funny that there are completely irrational people that blame others for problems that are a chain of events initiated by their own egotistical reactions. We all have blamed someone for doing something 'on purpose (regardless of that person's true intentions), but once the situation is analyzed, one would usually realize that the initial effect is typically beyond all control. It's things like road rage, where not being aware of your blindspot might cause you to cut someone off. In retaliation, that person follows you, clinging to your bumper, swearing, making obscene gestures, and eventually driving you off the road. Your demise has barely satisfied their need to retaliate. That's irrational.

It's also a parallel to Psychological Projection, but that's a whole other rant.

In any case, the point that I'm trying to illustrate is that the deeply afflicted irrational do not move on. They brood themselves into nothing. Their hatred and malice eventually consume them. Those that do not express spite resolve themselves with apathy.

I don't know what's worse, to be consumed by your own bitterness, or wither away because you feel nothing at all.


So for all those who have recently (or ultimately) been wronged by an irrational monster, I wish you peace. It is the only way to conquer that which has no soul.

It is 4:51 now. I think I have attempted to write a relevant rant. If I have not succeeded, please send all comments to the complaint department. The will be promptly evaluated and responded to.

This is Happening.

It seems so long ago, it seems so far away ago;
Where the arrows of Jupiter cannot break the woven shackles of the hopeless,
I'm there and gone.
and the days flood all over again.


I have reached the full circle, and I am back where I had left off. It's not a bad thing by any means. I only wish I was able to do it sooner. I am reminded, though, that such expedited fortunes are reserved for the apathetic.

I don't feel the cold as much. The phantom scents are the only persistent reminder of that empty blue room. Well, that and a few notes of familiar songs.
I still miss him. At least that lonely graveyard returned one person back into my life. I cannot even reverse the memories and expel them into a visual construction. They are simply too destructive to release there. Even thinking about it for longer than a minute could be enough to let them inhabit my dreams. I want it gone for good.

It's getting there.

I was walking one day, and I felt like I never left. I found some old oil paintings, and they smelled like warmth and comfort.
I realized there is a gap in my sketchbook that no matter how hard I'd like to fill it with those missing memories, there will simply be no way to do it, or do it without shredding this puzzle piece heart.

I'll always remember rain, I'll always remember how gray the mountains made everything seem. I'll always remember cutting the puddles at night, the mist in the endless fields, the marsh and the shade. I'll always remember the signs that told me to leave before I even arrived.
The Black Dog omen still haunts me. When I awoke, I quickly rendered the beast. It's buried in my box somewhere. I think that's the best place for it.

I hope Winter will return this year to assure that things have been made right. I haven't much time left, and I don't want to be a ghost.

I apologize that this entry didn't make much sense from the outside. Insomnia tends to awaken more then just my physical being. That being the case, my fingers just follow step. I'll attempt to make a more coherent post at a later time.

It's terrifying, it's nauseating, it's...the CEDAR POINT POST!

Alright, so I said I'd make a (long overdue) post about Cedar Point. So here it is:

I had a great time!

The highlights of the park were the Top Thrill Dragster, and the Millenium Force. I'd said the Power Tower and the Skyhawk were the third and fourth place contenders, althought they weren't true roller coasters.

The Top Thrill Dragster was just that. A launch at 120mph STRAIGHT up 420-something feet, and then straight back down with a little corkscrew action thrown in there. Pure terror before the launch, absolute euphoria upon reaching the top. Not to mention, being able to see miles into the lake and the horizon at the top of it all made me want to 'PRAISE JESUS!' LOL!
The Millenium Force is number one for true roller coaster style. It is a mass of hard twists of metal, taking you down a 320 ft hill at 94 mph. Not to mention, the trolley up the hill was quick and smoooth. It was a great ride that did not snap you around too much, was smooth, quick, and quiet. Top Notch.
The Power Tower....Truly one of the scariest rides of the park. You sit in a seat (with a harness) that is attatched to a trolly on the side of this huge tower. You face outward from the tower, and this thing takes you slowly up the side of the tower. When will it drop you? Nobody knows! It is enough to make your hands start to sweat about 1/3 of the way up. Once you drop, it is the best sensation! It kept its 'Holy Shit' factor at a solid 11 on a 1-10 scale without losing that rank upon riding it over and over again.
The Skyhawk was similar to the old pirate ship, except if you fed it steroids. The shear noise this ride generated was enough to make you pee yourself a little. It had the breath of a chained monster waiting for its chance to break out. Like the pirate ship, it is a swing type, except is went higher, and expanded on more of a circular plane. typical pirate ships took you a little less than 90 degrees from the resting position. The Skyhawk took you about 110 degrees from resting position. Doesn't sound like much, but just imagine if the pirate ship went out of control and just kept getting higher and higher, until the point where you are sitting up, but your stomach is facing the ground. That's a good time.
Last but not least, the scariest ride of the park crept along at a nauseating 5 mph, and just barely scraped past the tree tops. That's right, I'm talking about the terrifying thriller that are the sky trollies, as seen at Hershey Park. You know them, the little 4 person cars that creep along on a suspended cable, intending to give its riders an unobstructed view of theme park awe. But these jankey, ill-kept cars jostle and clank as they move their way in a straight line to point B. You dangle helplessly, bracing yourself for the fall to your death 50 feet below when the cable decides to give, or when the car decides to unhook itself from its line of death. A solid 20 on the 1-10 scale of Horror.

Prior to the trip, James and I stopped off at a Rite Aid and picked up some generic Drememine (sp). I was afraid the side effects would leave me fogged, but they didn't too bad. At one point I did become soo drowsy, I thought I was going to collapse. That could have been from the lack of sleep the night before, and the fact that we did more walking than riding on the first day. I'm just glad that James took over as the coaster nazi. He was definitely the driving force that kept us going! Thanks, James!
The ride back was long. We stopped off somewhere in western PA and had ourselves a picnic lunch. Nat and I slept most of the way (which was good for James and Kurt who were the drivers)! Inside joke, lol!!

That was about it. I loved it! I can't wait to do it again! James gets major props for hooking us up with the ride and the hotel! Thanks, Coaster Nazi!!

Thanks for reading this post about Cedar Point, have a Great Day!!